SHARINGS - ALL ABOUT FATHERS

SHARINGS - ALL ABOUT FATHERS

Ilan sa mga tinanggap kong email tungkol sa kanilang ama ay malungkot ang isinasaad. Isa rito, si Claire, na nagwikang dahil sa maagang pagpanaw ng kanyang ama, wala siyang masyadong naaalaala tungkol dito. Sabi naman ni Mon.

My father died when I was just 4-1/2 years old and I have very limited memory/recollection about him, except that fateful day, just hours before he died - he was playing with me and my elder brother, alternately tossing us up in the air then catching us on our way down. Anytime I want to think of him, I just close my eyes and that is the picture I get in my mind everytime. At least a very brief happy memory with him.

May nabasa akong minsan, tayo raw, we don't remember happy years or months or days. In truth, what remains in us is the memory of a moment. Ibig sabihin, we remember moments. At sa kaso ni Mon, that brief memory of his father, is his moment.

Totoong maraming maliligayang araw tayong naranasan, ngunit kung tunay nating lilimiin, ang maliwanag na natatatak sa ating utak at hindi malilimutan ay talagang isa o ilang saglit lamang. Tulad ba ng nadama sa unang pagtatama ng paningin o unang halik. Kung saan parang tumigil ang lahat ng sandali, huminto ang ingay sa paligid.

Kababasa ko lamang sa peryodiko (Manila Bulletin, Hunyo 20, 2010) ang isang interview sa bagong Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, tungkol sa kanyang ama. Kawangis nito ay isang sharing. Ikinuwento niya kung gaano ka-istrikto
ito. Kung paanong ang kanyang ama ay nagalit at nagdamdam nang siya ay mag-asawa, hindi pa man siya tapos sa pag-aaral ng abugasya, na siyang pangarap nito para sa kanya. Kung paanong sa loob ng apat na taon ay nagsumikap siya na matupad ang pangarap nito, habang pinagsasabay niya ang buhay-may-asawa, buhay-istudyante at paghahanap-buhay pa. Very touching ang narration niya tungkol sa kanyang graduation, ang paghiling niyang ito ang magsabit ng hood sa kanya, kahit ang kaugalian at kalakaran ay ang ina o asawa ang gagawa nito. Ang pagluha ng kanyang ama. Na hinding-hindi niya malilimutan. Ang pagbibigay niya ng kanyang unang suweldo (bilang abogado, marahil) dito, at ang pagtatago at pag-iingat nito sa nasabing suweldo hanggang sa ito ay binawian na ng buhay. Mumunting alaala na nakaaantig ng kalooban. At alam kong marami sa atin ang makaka-relate dito. Sa iba't ibang paraan, may karanasan din ang marami na katulad nito.

Ngunit ang isang tumiim na lubha sa akin ay ang isang tinanggap kong text ng isang hiningan ko ng sharing tungkol sa Father's Day..

Sorry--- after more than 20 years masakit pa rin---

Ano ang masasabi ko rito? Wala namang salitang maaaring sabihin upang maibsan ang sakit na nadama ng mga nawalan ng mahal sa buhay, ngayon man ito, o marami nang taon ang nakalipas. May naalaala lamang ako na siguro ay pwedeng ikonekta sa ganitong situwasyon.

Sa pagpapalaki ng mga magulang sa kanilang anak, bukod sa mga tungkuling ginagampanan nila bilang magulang, marami pang bagay silang ginagawa na aparte rito. Mga mumunti at malalaking bagay na alam nilang ikasisiya ng mga ito. Bakit sila nagpapakahirap gawin ito? Noong araw, wala pa kaming kotse, sumasakay kami ng jeep pagtungo sa Luneta, sa Chinese Garden, sa Intramuros, para maipasyal ang mga bata. Nag-aral akong mag-bake ng cake, magluto ng kakanin, maghalo ng haleyang ube na paborito nila. Bakit? Dahil gusto kong masiyahan sila. Ang hindi ko alam, ay may tawag pala rito.

Building memories.

Bawat bagay na gawin ng isang magulang para sa kanyang anak, katulad ay mga dayaming ibinubunton upang makabuo ng isang mandala. Isang mandala ng mga alaala.

At ang mga alaala at gunitang ito ang magsisilbing alalay natin sa mga sandali ng ating pangungulila: sa mga magulang, kung sila ang mawawala; sa mga anak, kung sila ang mauunang lumisan. Dito sa mga masasayang alaalang ito tayo maglunoy. Ito ang ating pagbalikan.

Mula sa isa pang kaibigan, narito ang kanyang magandang sharing.

Hi Eve,

Noong ako'y nasa mababang paaralan pa lamang ay malinaw pa sa isip ko, na pagdating na nang hapon ay sabik na sabik na akong abangan ang pagdating ng tatay ko na noon ay chief ng correspondence at record division sa kapitolyo ng Malolos. Sabik na sabik akong makita siya sapagkat pag may pasok siya ay sa gabi na lamang namin siya nakikita. Noong ako'y nag-aaral na sa Marcelo H Del Pilar High School, ay madalas ko na siyang makasama sapagkat katabi lamang ng paaralan ang kapitolyo at magkasama kaming nagtatanghalian.

Ang tatay namin ay masipag, mapagkakatiwalaan at tapat sa kanyang trabaho. Pinagtapos niya ang anim na anak niya ng kolehiyo maliban sa isang anak na lumabas ng seminaryo. Dalawang manggagamot, isang arkitecto, isang parmasyotica at isang inhinyero ang mga natapos ng mga anak niya. Ang anak niyang inhinyero ay siyam na taon naging punong bayan ng Pulilan at siyam na taon ding naging bise gobernador ng Bulakan. Isa ito sa malaking kasiyahan niya sa buhay.

Ikinalulumbay lamang namin ay sa edad na anim na pung lima ay pumanaw siya at hindi niya nakasalamuha ang mga apo niya. Salamat Eve at binigyan mo ako ng pagkakataon na mabigyan ng pagpupugay ang mahal naming tatay.

Pete

Sa akin ang pagpapasalamat sa pagpapaunlak mong i-share sa marami ang magagandang gunita mo ng iyong ama at ang kanyang mga ginawa para sa inyong magkakapatid. Kung minsan, sa buhay natin ngayon, na lubhang mabilis at maraming kaabalahan, bihira nang sumagi sa ating alaala ang mga gunita ng nakaraan sa piling ng ating mga magulang, lalo pa't matagal na silang namayapa. Kaya, sa pagsapit ng mga ganitong natatanging araw na ukol para sa kanila, tunay na marapat lamang na sila ay alalahanin. At tulad nang nabanggit mo, sila ay bigyang-pugay.

Ngayon naman, narito ang isang nakatutuwang sharing mula kay Ed.

DEAR EVE,

THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME TO WRITE ABOUT MY GOOD FATHER FOR "FATHERS' DAY" THIS COMING SUNDAY, JUNE 20TH.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I HEREBY GREET (WITH ALL MY HEART AND WITH FERVENT PRAYERS) ALL THE FATHERS ON EARTH (INCLUDING ALL OUR RELATIVES, CLASSMATES AND FRIENDS), WHEREVER THEY MAY BE.

MY VERY DEARLY BELOVED FATHER, JUAN (WHICH BECAME JOHNNY DURING THE LIBERATION TIME AFTER THE SECOND WORLD WAR) RAVAL CRUCES WAS A VERY GOOD MAN (HE HAD NO ENEMIES AND HE OFTEN SMILED EVEN TO STRANGERS AND AT WORK (MARSMAN & CO IN MANILA, WHERE HE WORKED AS ASSISTANT CREDIT MANAGER FOR MORE THAN 35 YEARS). HE WAS GOOD-LOOKING, WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MAN. HE WAS BORN IN MAY (MAY 17, 1901) SO, HE WAS AN EASY-GOING TYPE. HE WAS VERY EASY TO GET ALONG WITH, THAT'S WHY HE HAD MANY FRIENDS. WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG BACHELOR, HE WORKED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND, WHO HAD A CAR DEALERSHIP. SO, THEY HAD A DIFFERENT CAR ALMOST EVERY TIME THEY WENT ON DATES WITH THE YOUNG LADIES (WOW, I THINK THAT'S ONE BIG THING I MISSED).

WELL, I STILL THANK GOD SO MUCH AND WITH ALL MY HEART FOR GIVING ME THE ONE AND ONLY LOVE (B), WHICH TANTAMOUNTS TO MANY GOOD, BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT LADIES.

IN A CERTAIN WAY, THAT'S WHY I AM SOMEWHAT LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVE ALZHEIMER, WHICH WOULD MEAN THAT I'LL HAVE A "NEW WIFE" EVERY SINGLE DAY AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE.

MY FATHER LOVED MUSIC. HE PLAYED THE GUITAR AND THE VERY SMALL HARMONICA (WHICH CONCERNED MY MOTHER THAT HE MIGHT SWALLOW IT) VERY WELL. AND HE ALSO SANG. HIS BROTHERS PLAYED THE VIOLIN AND HIS SISTERS THE PIANO. HE WAS INVITED BY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WHEN THEY SERENADED SOMEONE. AT ONE TIME, WHILE THEY WERE SERENADING, MY FATHER WAS INSPIRED OR ATTRACTED TO THE PARTIALLY SHOWN WHITE ARM OF THE MOTHER OF THE LADY THEY WERE SERENADING. HE DID NOT NOTICE OR FELT THAT HE WAS ALREADY STEPPING (OR STUMPING WITH HIS SHOES ON THE RHYTHM OF THE SONG) ON HIS EYEGLASSES THAT FELL FROM HIS SHALLOW POCKET.

WHEN MY 2 SISTERS (OLDER THAN ME; WE ARE 4; OUR YOUNGEST BROTHER, TOTI OR ART FOR ARTHUR LIVES IN NJ) WERE YOUNG, ABOUT 6 OR 7, MY PARENTS TAUGHT THEM HOW TO SING, DANCE AND ALSO PLAY THE GUITAR AND PIANO. THEY LEARNED FAST ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN THE AMERICAN SOLDIERS, WHO LIKED THEM VERY MUCH. THEY INVITED THEM TO PERFORM AND ENTERTAIN THE SOLDIERS IN MANY CAMPS IN THE VARIOUS PARTS OF THE PHILIPPINES. IN RETURN, THEY SHOWERED (BY THROWING) MY SISTERS AND FATHER WITH MONEY ON THE STAGE. AND, THEY GAVE US FOOD, SUCH AS CANNED GOODS AND OTHER THINGS, WHICH WE SHARED WITH RELATIVES AND FRIENDS.

WHEN MY SISTERS PERFORMED, I JUST SAT IN A CORNER AND ENJOYED THEIR WONDERFUL DUET AND DANCE, WHICH I DID EVEN WHEN THEY WERE GROWING UP. I AM VERY PROUD OF THEM, INCLUDING MY VERY LOVING FATHER AND MY VERY DEARLY MOTHER, WHO WAS THEIR STRICT TEACHER.

MANY CLOSE AMERICAN SOLDIERS AND OFFICERS, WHO BECAME FRIENDS, INVITED THEM TO PERFORM IN THE U.S., BUT MY MOTHER DID NOT APPROVE OF IT. IF SHE DID, MOST PROBABLY MY WIFE AND I COULD NOT HAVE MET. I COULD HAVE MARRIED A BLOND AND BLUE-EYED LADY WOW! WOW!

MY FATHER WOULD LIKE TO COME TO THE U.S., WHICH I PRAYED FERVENTLY FOR MANY YEARS. I THANKED GOD SO MUCH THAT I WAS ABLE TO SPONSOR THEM TO COME HERE. AND, THEY ENJOYED AMERICA VERY MUCH FOR MORE THAN 10 YEARS. THANK GOD, I WAS ABLE TO CONVINCE THE PRESIDENT OF THE BIG CONSTRUCTION FIRM ON PARK AVENUE IN MANHATTAN, WHERE I WORKED AS CONTROLLER, TO HIRE MY FATHER AS AN ACCOUNTING CLERK. IT WAS A VERY ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE TO HAVE WORKED WITH MY FATHER EVEN FOR SHORT WHILE. WE WENT TO LUNCH EVERYDAY AND SOMETIMES DINNER TOGETHER.

MY FATHER DIED FIRST, THEN MY MOTHER. THEY WERE BURIED ON THE SAME PLOT IN NJ. MY VERY GOOD AND LOVING BROTHER AND HIS FAMILY CONTINUE TO VISIT OFTEN OUR PARENTS' GRAVES.

ALTHOUGH I AM FAR AWAY, YET I ALWAYS THINK AND PRAY (INCLUDING SINGING "SILENT NIGHT," WHICH REMINDS ME OF OUR VERY HAPPY MOMENTS DURING CHRISTMAS EVE, IN THE KITCHEN, PREPARING FOR THE COMING OF OUR GOD, JESUS CHRIST) FOR THEIR SOULS, AS WELL AS THE SOULS OF ALL THE DEPARTED..

LOVE,
Ed

A very lovely sharing, Ed. Para kong nakikita at nailalarawan sa aking isip ang mga nakatutuwang karanasan ng iyong ama nang binata pa siya, mga gunitang natitiyak kong ibinahagi niya sa inyo (kaya ninyo nalaman); ang sama-samang awitan ng inyong pamilya; ang mga moments ninyong mag-ama nang kayo ay muling nagkasama diyan sa Amerika. Sumagi na ba sa iyong isipan, kung paanong ngayon ay sumagi sa akin, na pagdating ng panahon, maaalaala kaya tayo ng ating mga anak tulad nang pagkaalaala natin sa ating mga magulang? Did we build enough memories for them to go back to? And did we share with them memories of our “kabataan”?

It is my deep regret na kulang ang mga kaalaman ko sa nakaraan ng aking mga magulang, bagaman at maliwanag sa aking isipan ang mga moments kong kasama sila. Sa palagay ko naman, I have done my part in building memories for my children. Ang nais ko lamang mangyari sa ngayon ay ang huwag silang makadama ng kakulangan pagdating ng panahong nais nilang magkaroon ng kaalaman tungkol sa buhay at henerasyong ... ating kinabibilangan.

Na siyang dahilan sa likod nitong -

eve-estrella.blogspot.com

(At abangan ang iba pang sharing at isang BONUS na kwento, KATULAD NG KANYANG TATAY, para pa rin sa pagdiriwang ng Father's Day ngayong Hunyo.)